I suppose I should have been nervous for this tournament, but I wasn't. I felt ready. I liked the way I was throwing in practice, my fitness levels were good, and my diet had me feeling fueled and energized. Mentally, I was focused. All of the usual catastrophes in my personal life had been managed. Everything I had worked for, everything my team had worked for was right there in front of us and it was all ours for the taking.
After the team meetings, after the practices, after the banquet, after the opening ceremonies, after the speeches, we were ready to play and we came out firing. If we had been able to play the way we played in our first game for the entire week there is no doubt in my mind that we would have taken home the Scotties trophy and we would be getting ready to go to B.C. for the Scotties National Championship right now. However, as you probably already know, that is not what happened. The next morning we came out flat and lost badly, but we were able to bounce back for the next one and ended day 2 of the triple knockout tournament with a 2-1 record.
On day 3, we went out and played a strong morning game that was ultimately decided by mere millimeters and unfortunately handed us our second loss. As tough and emotionally draining as that one was, we had to get over it quickly and we came back to win our next game that afternoon.
Sitting at a 3-2 record, we had to do everything in our power to avoid a third loss and elimination from the tournament. I wish I could tell you that we made the comeback of a lifetime. I wish there was a montage of my team preparing for battle, finding our fire and making epic shot after epic shot, all to the tune of Eye of the Tiger. I wish we hadn't lost our third game of the day that day, but we did. My rookie appearance at the Ontario Scotties Tournament of Hearts ended with a 3-3 record, heartbreak, and more than a couple of pints courtesy of the event sponsor Brock Street Brewery.
"How did it go?" is something that people keep asking. The polite answer is that it was an incredible experience, we learned a lot, and we can't wait to come back next year. All of that is true, but what I really want to talk about is how incredibly depressing it is to know how hard you worked, how you put all of your energy, all of your focus, countless hours and dollars, sacrificed time with family and friends, strained relationships, made important career decisions ... all of it to achieve one very specific goal only to fall short in the end. How awful it is to feel like you've let down your team, your sponsors, your family, yourself. How you lay awake at night, plagued by the what-ifs...
What if I hadn't dumped that out-turn?
What if I hadn't jumped the sweeping on that rock?
What if we had picked red rocks instead of yellow?
What if the event format had been pools instead of triple knockout?
What if we had played the come-around instead of the peel?
What if I hadn't jumped the sweeping on that rock?
What if we had picked red rocks instead of yellow?
What if the event format had been pools instead of triple knockout?
What if we had played the come-around instead of the peel?
What if ...
I'm sure there are at least 43 other women and probably plenty of other athletes who know exactly what I'm talking about right now. Sport can be just as cruel as it is wonderful. As crushing as it is to lose, right now I can only imagine how thrilling it will be someday to win. I've still got more work to do... (cue montage)
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| Competitors at the 2018 Ontario Scotties Tournament of Hearts in Whitby, ON |
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